Rainy day.....

What a rainy day.....while it has been cooling, it was slightly too cold for us lab campers. Doh spent the whole day inside sia. Got so stressed up with the stupid database implementation. Can you believe it? Took about 3 days after half a semester to finally settle down on our database. Still, there might be changes. These three days I really think and think and think through the nights and days and think until I'm sick of thinking. Really sick ah. Luckily got some useful help from my group members. Otherwise I think I might just leave the shit there. And because of this I got stuck with my coding. I think the reason why I forgot so many things for Karate is because I think too much. Really. I also believe that someone who is too cautious will always trip and fall. Don't know why; I say this because i'm such a person. Now i'm even lazy to go for wednesday and friday trainings. LAZY, not unmotivated. Even tuesdays, thurs and sundays. I practically drag myself to SKA because I have a duty to perform there. All these projects and studies have done me not a damn miserable bit of good at all. I'm becoming stupid and slow. My memory and eyesight is deterioriating. I can't even speak a full sentence properly sometimes. I have no life. I'm also spending more money because i'm too stressed and when i'm stressed, I tend to eat a lot of junk food. Already I have no money, and I still gain flabs from these. Damn it I have a spare tyre already. It's so disgusting. I'm also thinking of signing up for the SAF poly scheme. Just get all the money and serve two or more extra years, that's all. But its not the money I'm really concerned with. I feel that the future is not bright for us. Especially us guys who have NS to fulfil. I'll definetely secure a job there. And if I can perform well, I might end up with a good position inside, and just work hard, by 40 years old I should have a good saving already. However there's a risk that I might not be able to adapt to this kind of lifestyle and waste 2 yrs, so by the time I'm out i'm considered obsolete, if that's applicable to humans. Either way also means I have no bright future. Hai. The only thing that's really meaningful now is my family, Karate, and her. Managed to see her for just a while today.....but think that's quite enough.
Think I shall stop here and continue with my project.....